Not quite the quicker picker-upper that other camp films are (exactly why did anybody think they could stretch this premise to over two hours?), Can’t Stop the Music (otherwise known as The Village People Made a Musical?) still musters up a few scenes that stand in the pantheon of jaw-dropping hilarity. One such moment that scarce needs mentioning is the all-lathered-up “YMCA” number, which pretty much smashes any illusions of heterosexuality the film otherwise attempted (despite Marilyn Sokol’s poppers, this is pretty much Disney’s Village People). I’m fairly confident that this is one of the only films that is both rated PG and features a shot of a few dozen naked muscle men lathering each other up in communal showers (with all the specifics on display, mind you). If you were one of the dolts who thought “YMCA” was a song about exercising, it probably bears mentioning that The Brothers Johnson’s “Land of Ladies” it isn’t, which makes top-billed Valerie Perrine’s presence especially gratuitous. In the entire “YMCA” number, all she basically does is lie on a massage table and lightly bob her head with the beat – oh, and you see her boobs in another very PG shot). I mentioned Marilyn Sokol, who is the film’s resident slut, a part that, although as obviously expendable as Perrine’s, she milks for every possible lip-licking second. Here’s my theory on her character’s subtext: she’s a drag queen. And speaking of milk, don’t miss the American Dairy Association’s darkest hour: a promotional tie-in that resulted in the history’s most garish television commercial (“Milk Shake”). I’m not kidding, the ADA contributed funds to the making of this film! You can’t make this stuff up, folks. Of course it’s not entirely a boys’ club; there’s one awfully friendly camera set-up looking directly up one Ritchie Family member’s legs and into her bikini area (and, while we’re at it, you know the Vee-Pees are in trouble when all of their tunes are handily upstaged by the guest stars’ single number). Director Walker’s eye for shot composition is far from super-absorbent; there’s quite a few camera set-ups in “Milk Shake” and “YMCA” that look like they were shot through a telescope, with miles of unused Scope frame on either side of the action. As far as kitsch goes, I’ll take Xanadu.

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